failed haiku A Journal of English Senryu Volume 3, Issue 35 michael h. lester Guest ‘Failed’ Editor www.failedhaiku.com @SenryuJournal o n Twitter Facebook Page
Haiga by Lori Ann Minor
RESULTS OF THE THIRD ANNUAL Jane Reichhold Haiga Competition CLICK HERE
Cast List In order of appearance (all work copyrighted by the authors) Gayle Sweeper Barbara Tate Jay Friedenberg Simon Hanson Nikolay Grankin Stuart Bartow Keitha Keyes Linda McCarthy Schick Roberta Beach Jacobson Agnes Hanying Ong David He Roger Watson Kate Alsbury Bill Cooper Pris Campbell Elaine Wilburt John Hawkhead Mark Gilbert Rachel Sutcliffe Michael J. Galko Richard Grahn
Lavana Kray Radostina Dragostinova Louise Hopewell Anna Cates Barbara Sabol Ivan Gaććina Guliz Mutlu Colleen M. Farrelly Vishnu P Kapoor Hifsa Ashraf Kath Abela Wilson Vandana Parashar Mary Ellen Gambutti Terri L. French Pitt Büerken Tracy Davidson Debbie Strange Chen-ou Liu Ingrid Baluchi Antonio Mangiameli Martha Magenta Minh-Triêt PHAM William Scott Galasso Bruce Jewett Ray Caligiuri Gary Hittmeyer
Barbara Kaufmann Marianne Paul Corine Timmer - Gautam Nadkarni Adrian Bouter Michael Henry Lee Srinivasa Rao Sambangi Paula Dawn Lietz Cynthia Rowe Paul Beech Réka Nyitrai Angela GIORDANO Peter Jastermsky Madhuri Pillai Ross Neher Marshall Bood Barry George Hazel Hall Carol Raisfeld Elisa Bernardinis Lori Becherer Alexis Rotella Stella Pierides Marita Lucia Cardillo - Rodi Garganico Lorin Ford Margaret Walker
Geoff M. Pope Sondra J. Byrnes Adjei Agyei-Baah Rashmi Vesa Terrie Jacks Bob Lucky Tyson West Christine L. Villa Chad Robinson Wendy C. Bialek John J. Han Bruce England Claire Vogel Camargo Johnnie Johnson Hafernik Mary Gunn Kathryn Bold Kevin Valentine Jill Lange
Gayle Sweeper
in the garden my son wants to plant french fries coming nuptials I receive a sympathy card from his ex southern breeze the mynah bird says y'all Barbara Tate
child’s play the park snow becomes a man Jay Friedenberg
chihuahua in through the cat door jewel box ballerina another wobbly pirouette in front of the mirror pond ripples wobbly images of me in the minds of fish life after death so many versions from those who know Simon Hanson
flea market among treasures a sleeping cat Nikolay Grankin
Halloween night a witch rings my dead doorbell road rescuing the turtle pees on me spider webs at the doors and windows who needs gargoyles failing again to rise at 4 a.m. for the rising trout Stuart Bartow
too many beers ... last night’s fireworks just fizzled out sabotage — I hide some pieces of the jigsaw beauty pageant — trees in autumn splendour do their striptease a rooster with its head chopped off still on the run in 2018 April Fool’s day and Easter Sunday fell on the same day — some jokes were resurrected
leaving behind him a trail of breadcrumbs … no fairytale Hansel just my darling husband nibbling on his morning toast Keitha Keyes
crossing the street – my walk on the wild side prairie fire – the red buffalo stampedes again Linda McCarthy Schick
pulling the synthetic wool over his glass eye didn't catch your name chipped tombstone once the mime started talking he wouldn't shut up too much mustard no tip change of season - store window mannequin blushes every excuse in the book customer service crystal chandelier in lobby burned-out light bulb in room 418
sound asleep in broom closet - dead-mall Santa Roberta Beach Jacobson
leaves on tree branch wave goodbye Agnes Hanying Ong
classmates party I drink the red wine until my face reddens general cleaning the old man brushes his few teeth David He
Uber driver another life story bench with three seats the middle one always empty keynote speaker with no end in sight coffee breath the girl on my right speaks to the one on my left Roger Watson
trick or treat wonder woman seven again school board members fly to their cars witching hour the wallet you thought you lost ghosthunting rekindling an old grudge bonfire day Kate Alsbury
solar paneling the coal museum roof drizzle dawn a confederate statue outflanked by spiderlings waking early the toddler asks what's for brexit mid-gargle a shift in pitch breaking news Bill Cooper
old married couple he figures last year's jeans must have shrunk old married couple she knows ‘get around to it’ could mean next year old married couple he rakes the first leaf just for practice old married couple surely he can wear that shirt one more year old married couple she’s older than her mother when mother was old
Pris Campbell
heat-seeking mosquitos needling you, not me -- a human shield what I know of heaven -- a well-worn comforter snugged under the chin late autumn pruning, brush pile ready for burning -- old pictures of us first day of school -- "Let's make the swing bird chirp!" Elaine Wilburt
perseid shower I follow the signs wherever she says leaving her slammed door echoes in my mouth life class learning to look while not looking wall mural old freedom fighters peeling away middle age getting ready for fireworks that may not go off John Hawkhead
Karaoke Night in the shithole bar No Regrets pouring tea leaves down the drain stock market crash shaking a little me and the rattler retracing our footsteps psychometric test ... I don't answer questions about my private life rolling news stopping the world to throw up puberty infused in the slipstream of his aftershave
in the outhouse — whistling at the window just in case To the Occupant unwelcome junk on the welcome mat 'Ugh' — another haiku journal to add to the queue how can I write haiku when there are aphids Mark Gilbert
algorithms another password scrambled crime movie an explosion of soda cans wellness questionnaire my pencil missing the point new book dad says the download doesn't smell right morning chill in the meeting room hot air tuning in to my insomnia tinnitus
thirty years on still sleeping with Winnie the Pooh high maintenance his girlfriend's manicured garden the window we forgot to close car wash low bridge I duck behind the wheel Rachel Sutcliffe
hot beach sand guarding the ocean from walk-ins fuzzy like owlshit– tangled eyebrow eaves of the old sage bakery dumpster– just a sticky touch more fragrant dumpster fire in the walkabout bar district– another diversion Earth movers belch their slow way through the landfill
bored barista his smile not as strong as the coffee Michael J. Galko
Best Friends loyalty . . . I used to wet the bed now my dog does it for me really . . . do you think that only dogs know what dog food really tastes like? call me slow . . . but I've learned my love that you are just a poodle if you bark at the moon one more time I’m calling out your hairdresser let me know when you want to go out I’ll draw for you a bath
put your head down on my leg I’ll pet you oh so gently while you drool into my lap Richard Grahn
Lavana Kray
mountain dew I try new anti-aging therapy blood moon I swap the evening tea with rosé lavender fields the sweetish taste of my tranquilizers Radostina Dragostinova
blind date we summit Mount Disappointment honeymoon the way you touch your phone meditation retreat the playfulness of monkeys goldfields the seagull eyes our picnic Louise Hopewell
eyes following the new girl in town . . . loose leaves Anna Cates
global warming Phil retires his shadow at the audiologist the other shoe drops without a sound a regular at the corner pub his beer glass always half-empty holes in the toes of his black socks, the astrophysicist mixed blessing-- offered the senior discount without asking morning commute daydreams interrupted by a pot hole
very behind wish I had time for the gym swiss cheese. . . I keep forgetting my grocery list feeling my age-- Dylan's face on the cover of AARP Barbara Sabol
monkey business . . . because of donkey justice the horse was injured goat breakfast . . . from the snowman face nose is missing fallen into the trap poacher and fish . . . double catch Ivan Gaććina
long night I burn the quilt for a louse double rainbow childhood fairyland under construction Guliz Mutlu
the dog eats crow and sleeps in the doghouse frantically filling a college bluebook— the pencil breaks
Airport Decathlon Call the taxi. Red light. Red light. Honk. Red light. Screech. Check the luggage. Yes, Chicago. O’Hare. Security line closed. Next terminal’s overflow backed up to the Starbucks. Half hour. Hour. Bible sets off x-ray machine. Step forward, Ma’am. Carefully-packed carry-on in disarray as security digs deeper. All clear. Run to gate D-53. Changed last minute to D-2. Dodge the stroller of the lady on the cell phone. Arrive at the gate in time for a lightning delay. Two coffees and a Nathan’s hotdog later, time to board again. Luggage compartments full. Check the bag with a gate agent. Seatbelt broken. Head to a middle seat in the back of the plane crammed between a 6’5” guy and a lady with a screaming one-year-old whose ears won’t pop. Really need to pee. fasten seatbelt off— lavatory! Now! flush! out of service…
old pond, same frog— sploosh! smack! sploosh! new alligator squawking peacocks another televised debate Colleen M. Farrelly
wardrobe malfunction relishing the awkward silence "open sesame " double swipe across the smart phone widower's freedom getting down from either side of the double bed Vishnu P Kapoor
maize crop field completely ruined by those rats who I fed cheese last night leftover soup finally settles down the restless fly rejection email another starred message into the trash Hifsa Ashraf
campus tour a grey squirrel digs a black hole in front of the astronomy building kangaroo paws where no kangaroo would dare set foot I leap to conclusions that don't exist if only I were a lemur leaping loquaciously my pen a pogo across the pages of my lifelong book
on a tour a desert voyeur finds giant tortoises are not shy atop her he huffs and puffs she munches a green tuft nearby Kath Abela Wilson
zigzag when will papa learn to part my hair right school reunion no one recognises me except the dog off season sale... I spend four thousand to save five hundred holy dip... I come out feeling itchy Vandana Parashar
Mary Ellen Gambutti
Can you hear me now? I heard of a town today that had banned all cell phones. Not just the use of them while driving, but totally banished them. There are no cell phones in this town. Nary a one. Can you even fathom that? Next you are going to tell me they all use rotary phones! Or maybe a wife has to go out in the back yard, gather sticks and build a fire to send up a smoke signal asking her husband to pick up a gallon of milk on the way home from work. And how would you tell your kids to get their little butts home for dinner? Carrier pigeon? I’m sorry but I just as soon cut off my right hand than part with my cell phone. Siri is my friend. After all, who else in your life responds to “I love you” with “I am only here to serve you.”
storm warning the rustle of branches one tree to another * haiku previously published in my book, A Ladybug on My Words, available on Amazon.com Terri L. French
fast food the vegetables don't grow any faster traffic circle one driver doesn’t find his way out making a short poem what the heck was I going to write? Pitt Büerken
heather-clad hillsides the splendour of men in kilts on a breezy day laundromat now he sees where the red sock went my neighbour's parcel I opened by accident... I keep the handcuffs her hundredth birthday my great-grandmother requests a hot stripper Tracy Davidson
Debbie Strange
slammed door ... my wife leaves me alone with my big dream the chemistry between us drunken shadow and me my blind date in white with black spots under dim streetlight I dress up a few facts about my work and age Chen-ou Liu
toffee apple me and a wasp minding my business the last peppercorn doomed to stay in its glass mill -- for eternity Sydney circular every sentence ends with a question mark frosting up the window neighbor’s new cat chats up our canary new tongue learning how to say I don’t speak your language Ingrid Baluchi
four street lamps - my shadows are all the same Antonio Mangiameli
strawberry moon the builder’s butt sunburned conkers his Adam's apple up and down he bends over to pick a pumpkin harvest moon expanding frontier he loosens his belt another notch immortal the mosquito I killed yesterday blind date only the cabbage on his teeth Martha Magenta
blood donation — around his neck some hickeys dating site — his wife doesn't know that he is single bees attracted to flowers of her dress groans — the neighbours are back Minh-Triêt PHAM
squawking hens, strutting roosters… senate hearings movie night senior discount please why not, I earned it to the well once too often …wine stains William Scott Galasso
at a pet clinic the construction worker coos in baby talk Bruce Jewett
a cat dismembered my bunny but missed its lucky feet frogs’ legs out of pond into frying pan your silence my heart neither broken yet sharp people always have a point went to kill some time but it slipped away tried buddhism but found myself wanting Ray Caligiuri
garter snake in the basement: leave or pay rent home again the moths greet my headlights a hoarder tries to discard an empty box fills it instead two eyes glow from under the bed I hope it's the cat “Think it'll rain?” a drenched stranger asks outside the market Gary Hittmeyer
afternoon light dead nettle’s slow creep to the compost windstorm my inbox fills with spam Barbara Kaufmann
living large greasing the ring off my finger fridge crisper— the little green caterpillar eats its fill abandonment issues the cat chooses sunlight over me losing it— on my head the missing glasses life at the equator all things being equal
Marianne Paul
Corine Timmer --- Senryu Gautam Nadkarni --- Illustrations
skin mags you pluck out a hair chicken of freedom - the feathers on the floor Adrian Bouter
night fall losing my religion at her bedside appaloosa sky the small cirrus finds a break in the fence straw flowers breaking it off for the holidays Michael Henry Lee
diet plan till I can play with the wedding ring maturity show one after the other my gray hairs belly dance till the baby cries Srinivasa Rao Sambangi
Paula Dawn Lietz
on the road again . . . Garmin breaks into our argument wild peony . . . we dance to the vibe of bees Cynthia Rowe
BONFIRE BANDITS W-h-u-m-p-h, our giant bonfire catches and orange sparks fly to the moon. Down our cinder-slope, opposite the chapel, Guy Fawkes Night 1958 is under way, Dad in charge. The Bonfire Bandits came round earlier and nicked half our timber, towing it away behind their bikes, sneaky sods. But Bro and I have bikes and ropes too, and now we gloat in the scorching glow as the blaze proclaims our triumph. cowboys wage bonfire war size matters Oldies sit around on spindle-back chairs, nattering, whilst Bro and I, mate Ken and others, take turns lighting blue touch paper to set catherine wheels spinning, jumping jacks jumping, roman candles erupting and rockets whooshing high over this Lancashire town of pits and mills. Mum is the perfect hostess, and soon we’re all sipping tea, sucking treacle toffee or nibbling parkin.
maiden aunts reminisce gently old flames Hot chestnuts are pulled from the embers now – delicious! But, hey, what’s all the commotion? A pair of lads, shrieking with glee, race for their bikes at the top of the slope, an old boy puffing in hopeless pursuit. Near collapse he turns glowering and we recognise the chapel janitor. Too late Dad realises why our waning fire is roaring again. A couple of Sunday School chairs have been thrown on from behind. The lads were two of our Bonfire Pirates from earlier, sneaky sods. bonfire mayhem the spirit of Guy lives on Paul Beech
a person engaged to a cell phone... autumn rain Réka Nyitrai
at the same time the alarm always rings- retirement
Angela GIORDANO
it wasn’t the drugs who needs the Holy Grail when you’ve seen a snail in Adidas attachment it’s said what you fear will own you for years my dreams came with anchovies on the fly another day I forget to zip
cheesy smiles grating over dinner rookie bagger my eggs his inexperience Peter Jastermsky
wafting in a spring fly for a sneak preview of what’s cooking on the stove the big word he couldn’t spell he flaunts in his speech downsizing… all the balconies Romeo could wish for we follow the host on a tour of his apartment dinner hostess... wishing I wasn’t one as she remarks how hard it is to cook for a vegan Madhuri Pillai
blocked burros title search on hold nude noon nosh Ross Neher
vacant holodeck — even interstellar space couldn’t satisfy my appetites doing an iOS update — the woman across the coffee shop draws my face psych ward — the absence of decaf sunburnt bald man most find this humorous Marshall Bood
low mass— beneath the rector's robe New Balance sneakers musty and somewhat worn around the edges— the used bookseller not quite the tailors I had hoped for... moths the no skateboarding sign by the courthouse— scuffed up a bit up late reading another tired article about insomnia reunion— that's Old Mr. Hager's son Old Mr. Hager
in my dream I take the shot that misses everything Barry George
black cat night my stygian self takes over vineyard dance twisting together after wine
Hazel Hall
at the lingerie shop asked if it worked, she said of corset does cops arresting a mime "you have the right to remain silent ..." the doorbell rings ... Pavlov suddenly remembers he forgot to feed the dogs farm stand -- I love you from my head to.ma.toes mourning the death of his horse, finally he dismounts overbooked... outside the airplane window grandma hanging on
reading a book about anti-gravity he can't put it down Rigor Mortis Pub serving stiff ones since 1788 window washer -- reflections of a window washer halloween dinner in his skeleton outfit he orders spare ribs Carol Raisfeld
the whole world plummets -- a sneeze all around the sushi bar counter wasabi faces the job research eventually becomes a full-time employment not knowing about wabi-sabi irises bloom Elisa Bernardinis
still pressing his buttons Dad's Underwood dialing back my impatience rotary phone supermoon I resist the urge to howl Lori Becherer
High school yearbook a friend remembers how high my high jump wasn’t Cuban music my feet go where they’ve never been Old beau assesses the square footage of our house says nothing about my art The garden does what it wants... wish I could Cajun country no frog no turtle safe Alexis Rotella
Stella Pierides
little beach house bought and bloated by big spenders a self-driving car no advantage — arguing with the cops dollhouse window the lesser pains trying to cut back — three baby aspirin your tip as big as parsimony another poem meets the editor’s cut —— Katana Marita
sixtieth ... seventies music in the head sessantesimo … nella testa musica /anni settanta Lucia Cardillo - Rodi Garganico
the ghostwriter tapping her biro – All Soul’s Night flash mob cherry blossoms selfie after selfie blossom cool – two widows in matching Hello Kitty pink urban beehive the buzz word that does a blowfly, too with nothing else to do . . . ladies’ luncheon club under the spreading chestnut tree . . . cigarette butts . . . Lorin Ford
misstep manure lingers on his shoes bathroom skylight roofers’ clear view in the mirror no glasses no wrinkles Margaret Walker
multi-millionaire father his son laboring over free three-liners at the bottom of her Christmas stocking a tongue scraper stadium cleaner stumped by a slug in the nosebleeds Geoff M. Pope
day of the dead waiting for my dna results a gate that won’t open after the rain— my arthritis a simple life—all the effort it takes ah— the chamisa’s in bloom choo! raccoons rip up the thyme and thyme again street block party trying to distinguish the odd from the even Sondra J. Byrnes
still waving on the lost incumbent’s billboard a stuck kite news headline a politician ends in a pothole Adjei Agyei-Baah
a new arrangement of footwear every morning the dog on night shift in the yoga class a low whistle chases us… my asthma each family member gets a new distorted name — toddler’s privilege lightning strikes— we all display momentary halos Rashmi Vesa
fishing the worm on the hook beguiles nothing new meds encourages sprinting restroom dash my cars: a Nissan and Mazda do they need green cards? Terrie Jacks
mid-song I pretend I know the lyrics medical alert – too old for a surprise party in my eye the finger I can't see Thanksgiving prayers answered when the turkeys leave Bob Lucky
teen girls short shorts and crop tops run in cliques pack up out of fear of feeling naked high school reunion live bios full of errors and omissions the dead attend vibrant in gossip and obits high school reunion i reminisce with heroes unbeaten senior year no one recalls I never attended a game Tyson West
morning ritual who catches my dog with the missing sock star jasmine my puppy takes over his side of the bed booby’s feet the impulse to buy a pair of bright blue shoes warm cinnamon roll I forget my name in each bite at the party only remembering the name with the sweaty hand
we list our ailments like we're in competition in the waiting room . . . the fishes in the aquarium vying for attention
Christine L. Villa
clown motel-- for assistance honk nose clown motel-- the porter trips over my bag more than once clown motel-- the porter tries to balance all our luggage clown motel-- a balloon animal on my pillow clown motel-- the only channel plays The Three Stooges clown motel-- dinner arrives on a spinning plate
clown motel-- the squeal of a balloon my wakeup call clown motel-- a complimentary pie in the face at checkout Halloween sack race-- the skeleton falls apart at the finish line Chad Robinson
in college now he tilts the picture to the left "mother smiling down on her baby" before his new lady guest arrives kyoka drafts fall in fan-shapes on the bamboo floors
even in my password window submitting senryu Wendy C. Bialek
surprise! a five-year-old girl drops the word apostrophe not so good morning— overnight someone let his dog poop in my yard. lunch buddy today trying to ignore his food that landed on mine karma— the driver cuts me off then is pulled over skilled driver— both hands off the wheel grooming her hair John J. Han
She lifts her t-shirt to show the staring women she has shorts on Amusing routine one woman plays Laurel the other Hardy Bruce England
the bustle of the self-important crow crowd photographers and giraffes crane their necks at each other Halloween horror the missing front tooth my mirror confirms m e o w a crow biting the cat’s tail Claire Vogel Camargo
lost on Google Maps a cartographer desert screaming hot salsa sunset eight-layer cake only in photos such perfection a tiny waist what she always wanted an ant has Johnnie Johnson Hafernik
when no-one is looking— grandma spoons in the sugar Elizabethan collar— the old cat learning new ways post-op every time i reach for the zapper ... the moth stops flying bending to sniff the flowers on her desk i feel stupid – they looked real first-born among my cousins ... but i don't want to be first at the exit! Mary Gunn
magnifying mirror I look at my face and feel five times worse in the kitchen we kiss the teapot whistles I show her how to play a 45 sounding like an oldie admiring them before I pull them -- dandelions sorting through mom’s collection of funeral cards -- saints on one side sinners on the other Kathryn Bold
geisha house . . . my hostess helps me forget what's-her-name grocery shopping – the ace detective hasn't got a clue Kevin Valentine
early years learning from mama . . . to dance ballet and win at poker mahjongg I feel lucky— second margarita trivial pursuit— they say our team gets all the easy ones he— down to his skivvies she— poker face on hurry, come see the rainbow she calls— it’s all the colors of the crayons
all spent in a week her lemonade-stand quarters . . . darts at balloons Jill Lange
Michael H. Lester Guest ‘Failed’ Editor
[email protected] (a ll work copyrighted by the authors)
