KING ARTHUR & THE KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE By SAM PINNELL DRAFT EIGHT: 9/12/17 Rehearsal text



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CAST WITH DOUBLING SUGGESTIONS Actor one:

Merlin (a little vain, but old and wise) Lancelot du Lac (gorgeous, dashing, noble)

Actor two:

Arthur (calm, patient, charming)

Actor three:

Kay (well meaning, stupid) Sir Pellinore (very loud, shouty, and frightening)

Actor Four:

The Lady of the lake (ethereal) Morgan Le Fay (charismatic, evil) Guinevere (pure and beautiful) Messenger (a messenger)





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Scene one MERLIN (VOIX OFF) Mesdames et Messieurs de la Cour de France, c'est un honneur d'être votre invité ici aujourd'hui. Certains d'entre vous doivent surement me reconnaître. Quoi personne? Personne du tout? Eh bien, je suis Merlin. Le sorcier du roi Arthur. Mais si, en Angleterre. Un petit pays, étrange et froid, de l’autre coté de la mer. Avec une nourriture immonde. Certains disent que je suis le magicien le plus célèbre de tous. Plus sage que Gandalf, plus malin qu’Harry Potter, plus rusé que ... Bon, je pense que tout le monde connaît l'histoire du jeune Arthur qui a été couronné pour avoir retiré l'épée de la pierre. Je vais maintenant vous raconter quelques-unes des merveilleuses aventures du roi Arthur et de ses célèbres chevaliers de la table ronde. Hmm pour que ma magie fonctionne Je vais avoir besoin que vous criez : Let the magic begin. Allez! Tous ensembles! AUDIENCE (IN ENGLISH) Let the magic begin. MERLIN Eh bien, ça marche !! ALL We’re here to enchant you with stories of Arthur And how his brave Knights fought for England so fair With music and singing and acting and laughter His magical tales of adventure we’ll share ARTHUR I play King Arthur, the just Lord and Master With great royal bearing I issue commands KAY And I am Sir Kay his most loyal of servants Though I play other parts when the story demands 3

ALL Yes he is King Arthur King now and hereafter From the great stone he pulled out the sword Yes he is King Arthur Let’s raise to the rafters The tale of our dashing young lord. LADY Now it’s not all just men in this thrilling new story There’s plenty of action for women here too I’m dressing up as a number of ladies I’m playing the villain and heroine too ARTHUR So let’s focus in, we’re about to begin It’s time to put mobiles and tablets away We’ve got lots of costumes and all of the actors For Merlin and Morgan and Arthur and Kay ALL King Arthur King Arthur King now and hereafter His destiny says it is so King Arthur King Arthur With singing and laughter So now let’s get on with the show 4

MERLIN Revenons à la cour du roi Arthur. Ça m’aiderait beaucoup si vous pouviez jouer le rôle des chevaliers de la table ronde. À Chaque fois que le roi Arthur dira: are all my brave knights here? Tout ce que vous avez à faire est de crier: YES MY LORD. Essayons… ARTHUR Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord. MERLIN À la cour, il y avait beaucoup de travail pour unifier le Royaume et Arthur avait envoyé ses fidèles chevaliers à travers tout le pays. Scene two

BANNER: KING ARTHUR’S CASTLE AT CAMELOT

ARTHUR Welcome all to Camelot. Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord! MERLIN Et j’ai une excellente nouvelle, mon roi, l’audacieux Sir Kay est revenu de sa quête. D’ailleurs le voilà qui arrive. KAY Hi everyone. ARTHUR Welcome back Kay. How goes it? KAY Well Arthur, I have been fighting bravely, killing the men-folk and burning down the villages of your enemies in the north. 5

ARTHUR But I don’t have any enemies in the north. KAY Oh. Well, you do now. ARTHUR Let us all take a seat at the famous Rectangular Table of Camelot. KAY I want to sit at the top next to you Arthur. ARTHUR (aside to Merlin) Kay at the head of the table?! Surely some of our more famous knights have a better claim.....Sir Bedivere, Sir Gawain, Sir Tristan. KAY Yes, I am Arthur’s most loyal friend. We grew up together. We’re like brothers. ARTHUR It doesn’t matter where you sit surely? MERLIN Now I think of it, Merlin the wise wizard should be at the top of the table. KAY This is typical of you Merlin. MERLIN And what’s that supposed to mean? KAY (MIMICKING HIM) What’s that supposed to mean. MERLIN (HEATED NOW) For two pins I could magic you into a toad.

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KAY And if I was a toad I’d still be better looking than you. MERLIN AND KAY ARE NOW FACING AWAY FROM EACH OTHER WITH FOLDED ARMS, SULKING ARTHUR In fact I have an idea. How about a round table? KAY What difference will that make? ARTHUR Don’t you get it Kay? If the table is round then no one is at the top. We’re all equal. KAY The Knights of the Round Table. It’s not very catchy. ARTHUR I think it’ll grow on you Kay. I command that a round table be brought to Camelot. Merlin: can you make it so? Using your powerful magic. MERLIN Of course my King. It should be with you in 4 to 6 weeks. ARTHUR Right, and all my finest knights will take their places around it. MERLIN May I say that we will need to leave one empty place. KAY Right, yes of course. No, I don’t get it. ARTHUR Is there someone missing from our company Merlin? MERLIN Using my gifts of prophecy – 7

KAY ROLLS HIS EYES MERLIN Using my gifts I can see that we will one day be joined by a knight called Sir Lancelot and he will be the greatest knight of all. KAY Oh cheers. Charming. MERLIN Il fut décidé que les chevaliers du roi Arthur siégeraient à la table ronde et que tous seraient égaux. Comme ça c’était réglé. Mais nous avions un autre problème : Sir Pellinore attaquait et tuait tous ceux qui se trouvaient sur son chemin. Arthur devait faire quelque chose. Scene three

BANNER: Round Table meeting

ARTHUR I call this meeting of the round table to order. Are all my brave Knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord! KAY We’re all here Arthur. ARTHUR Something must be done about Sir Pellinore. He will not yield to my authority and he is killing Knights left right and centre. He’s a menace. KAY I’ll go and fight him. How hard can it be? ARTHUR Kay, I have heard that Sir Pellinore is a most fearsome opponent. 8

KAY Don’t worry. I can beat him. I’m a brilliant knight. ARTHUR No-one’s arguing with that Kay... MERLIN No-one? Really? No-one’s arguing with that. KAY You’ve never had any confidence in me Merlin. MERLIN Sir Pellinore is a fearsome fighter. My counsel is to avoid conflict with him. It’s just too risky. They say that Sir Pellinore’s castle is a bleak, lonely and terrifying place from which no man ever returns. KAY Sounds like your sister’s house. ARTHUR All right Kay! No need to be rude to Merlin. MERLIN Well to be fair he has a point. My advice is : leave Sir Pellinore alone and simply tell our subjects to stay out of his way. KAY Well that sounds pretty cowardly if you ask me. ARTHUR No Kay. Merlin is right. Let’s keep everyone safe. There is to be no fighting Sir Pellinore. Do I make myself clear? KAY Yes Arthur. I suppose so.

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MERLIN Good. It’s nice when everyone listens to my wise counsel for once. Very satisfying. ARTHUR IS LEAVING THE STAGE MERLIN Where are you going Arthur? ARTHUR Me? MERLIN Yes, you. ARTHUR Errr...nowhere really. I’m just going to polish my sword for a bit. So if you knock on my door I probably won’t answer. Even though I’ll definitely still be here. Definitely. ARTHUR EXITS KAY Well that seems fine. MERLIN You’re not suspicious at all? KAY Suspicious? No. Why should I be? MERLIN J'ai cherché Arthur partout ce jour-là, j'étais sûr qu'il voulait affronter Sir Pellinore. Je devais tenter quelque chose… Scene four

BANNER: SIR PELLINORE’S CASTLE

SIR PELLINORE Who goes there? Whoever you are prepare to be brutally killed! 10

ARTHUR Brave Sir Pellinore, I am just a humble knight from King Arthur’s court seeking passage through your lands. SIR PELLINORE Right. Brutal killing it is then! ARTHUR You will not allow a knight from Camelot to pass by peacefully? SIR PELLINORE This is my land and I say that horrible slaying is the order of the day. So let the bloody carnage commence. ARTHUR So be it then. We must fight! For the honour of great King Arthur and the round table. THEY SWORD FIGHT. FINALLY ARTHUR IS PINNED TO THE GROUND. ARTHUR My sword! It has broken in two. HE HOLDS UP THE TWO PIECES SIR PELLINORE Hah! So victory is mine. Now I shall strike the killer blow! HE RAISES HIS SWORD MERLIN APPEARS AND RAISES HIS WAND MERLIN Anthropothica, amargica, amaranthi. SIR PELLINORE What witchcraft is this? SIR PELLINORE STRUGGLES WITH HIS SWORD FROZEN ABOVE HIS HEAD, BUT HE CANNOT MOVE. 11

MERLIN I am Merlin the wizard, Sir Pellinore. I cannot let you slay this noble knight. SIR PELLINORE Nonsense, I’ve slain plenty of knights. What’s one more? MERLIN This is no ordinary Knight. This is King Arthur. SIR PELLINORE King Arthur? Is this true? MERLIN It is. ARTHUR It is. SIR PELLINORE Then if you are the King I must yield to you. SIR PELLINORE KNEELS BEFORE ARTHUR MERLIN You acknowledge your true King? SIR PELLINORE I do. ARTHUR I accept your service. And let there be no more slaying of our fine knights. SIR PELLINORE There will be no more Sire. But look I have broken your sword. MERLIN Come with me Arthur. I have a plan. 12

MERLIN Il fallait trouver une nouvelle épée pour remplacer celle qui s’était cassé pendant le combat. J’ai eu alors une idée et j'ai emmené Arthur près des eaux d'un lac magique. Scene 5

BANNER: The Magic Lake

ARTHUR Why are we here Merlin? MERLIN We are here to see if the Lady of the Lake will favour us? Call to her. ARTHUR Hello there? Fair Lady of the Lake, it is I, King Arthur. MERLIN Look, there Arthur, there in the water! THE BEAUTIFUL LADY OF THE LAKE APPEARS HOLDING A SWORD ALOFT. ARTHUR The lady of the lake! MERLIN It is her, indeed. THE LADY OF THE LAKE WALKS TOWARDS ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARTHUR She is walking on the water Merlin! MERLIN There is more magic in the kingdom than just mine Arthur. LADY OF THE LAKE Who calls to the Lady of the Lake? 13

ARTHUR It is I. Arthur. King of Britain. LADY OF THE LAKE Arthur, King of Britain, I bring you this sword. Its name is Excalibur. ARTHUR Excalibur. LADY OF THE LAKE It is the finest sword in all the land. Keep it with you and you will be safe. MERLIN This is a fine gift indeed my lady. LADY OF THE LAKE A fine gift for a fine King, Merlin. ARTHUR Thank you my lady. I shall treasure this always. LADY OF THE LAKE Good luck Arthur. I am sure the time will come when we will meet again. THE LADY OF THE LAKE WALKS BACK ACROSS THE WATER AND DISAPPEARS ARTHUR She is beautiful Merlin. MERLIN She is that. And she has powerful magic. Let us return to Camelot. Avec "Excalibur" nous sommes retournés à Camelot. Maintenant qu'Arthur était roi, Il était temps pour lui de trouver une épouse. 14

Scene 6 BANNER: Round table meeting

ARTHUR Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord! ARTHUR Well Merlin, why have you called a meeting? MERLIN It is time, my King, that you took a wife. A king must have a queen. KAY Ughh! Girls! What’s the point? MERLIN Don’t be ridiculous Kay! ARTHUR You’re right Merlin whoever heard of a King without a queen? And I know just the woman. MERLIN Go on. ARTHUR Her name is Guinevere and she is the daughter of King Leodegraunce. MERLIN Well, she is from a fine royal family. KAY But that’s not why you’ve chosen Guinevere is it Arthur? 15

ARTHUR Well...... KAY No, it’s because when we saw her at that fancy banquet you said and I quote : “wow, she’s incredibly fit!” ARTHUR Well I may have noticed her .. elegance … if that’s what you mean. IN ARTHUR’S MINDS EYE, WE SEE GUINEVERE DANCING, LOOKING “ELEGANT” KAY That isn’t exactly what I mean, no. MERLIN I must counsel against Guinevere. ARTHUR This is my wife we’re talking about not yours. MERLIN Using my gifts of prophecy – KAY Oh here we go again! MERLIN Using my gifts of prophecy I can see that your love for the beautiful Lady Guinevere will lead to a terrible betrayal. GUINVERE THROWS THE MEN A DISGUSTED GLANCE AND ‘EXITS’ ARTHURS REVERIES ARTHUR Can you be more specific Merlin? MERLIN Alas no. The art of prophecy is a mysterious one my Lord. KAY 16

The art of prophecy is rubbish if you ask me. Merlin you’re always prophesying terrible things but d’you know what I reckon: everything turns out all right in the end. ARTHUR For once Kay is right. KAY Yeah! Thanks Arthur. Hang on, what do you mean: “for once”? ARTHUR Guinevere is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen and she will be my wife. KAY Slow down Arthur, you haven’t even asked her. What if she says no? ARTHUR AND MERLIN BURST OUT LAUGHING ARTHUR Oh Kay, as if it matters what she thinks. MERLIN Goodness me, Kay. We can’t have women deciding who they’re going to marry. ARTHUR Merlin, make the necessary arrangements with her father. KAY Hurray! A royal wedding. How exciting. I’m going to need a new tunic, and a new cloak, and some shoes and some sort of fabulous hair cut. I want to look good in the wedding tapestries. Scene 7 MERLIN Ahh quel mariage royal! La moitié du Royaume était là. Le festin a duré de nombreux jours et de nombreuses nuits. Sir Kay a pu enfin porter ses beaux habits, Guenièvre était très belle et il y avait beaucoup de joie. Je pense que j'ai toujours les tapisseries du mariage quelque part. Oh oui, les voici: 17

MERLIN SHOWS US SOME PICTURES OF THE WEDDING. (THEY LOOK LIKE TAPESTRIES) Oui, c'était une sacrée fête. De mon coté, j'avais pris un apprenti. Quelqu'un à qui transmettre ma puissante magie. Et cet apprenti n’était autre que la fée Morgane, la demi-sœur d'Arthur. Une femme intelligente, talentueuse et férocement ambitieuse. Comme on dit en anglais: une véritable douleur dans le derrière! Scene 8 BANNER: MERLIN’S WORKSHOP

MERLIN Morgan? Are you here? MORGAN APPEARS IN AN APRON HOLDING A JAR WITH SOME ROOTS INSIDE IT MORGAN Well, Merlin. About time too. I’m having all kinds of problems with this mandrake root. I can’t do a thing with it. MERLIN That is advanced magic. You are not ready. MORGAN Oh give it a rest old man. I’ve had enough of you holding me back. I want to learn everything you know. You can’t live forever Merlin. Do you want all your magic to die with you? MERLIN No no. I agreed to teach you Morgan, I just want to make sure you’re learning properly and understanding the theory of magic as well as the practical side. MORGAN Pah! Theory. I have no need of your theory. Times are changing Merlin. But Arthur and his knights are keeping Britain stuck in the past. May I remind you that I am Arthur’s sister. 18

MERLIN Half sister Morgan. You share the same mother, that is all. MORGAN All? All? Yes we share the same mother. We should be close like a proper brother and sister and yet I am not welcome at the round table. Why can’t I sit there with the other noble born knights? MERLIN You know why Morgan. MORGAN Yes, because I am a woman. It is not fair. MERLIN It is the way of things Morgan. MORGAN Then the way of things will have to change. Arthur gets to rule the kingdom and I must content myself with learning magic from a crazy old man. MERLIN Show some respect Morgan. MORGAN Look to your gifts of prophesy Merlin. What do you see for me? MERLIN I have told you before. Do not ask me. MORGAN Well prophesy this old man: one day I will sit at the round table, and there will be no more King Arthur and his knights. I will rule the Kingdom! THERE IS A TENSE MOMENT AND THEN MERLIN BREAKS IT BY LAUGHING MERLIN Oh Morgan! You do make me laugh. A woman will never rule Britain.

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SONG MERLIN (SPEAKING IN A GRUMPY OLD MAN SORT OF WAY) The medieval world’s full of danger that’s grave It’s no place for women and girls I’m afraid. You can learn a few spells just as well as you can But wizarding? Well that’s job for a man MORGAN (SINGING SWEETLY) Oh teach me a potion and teach me charm Teach me some spells, one or two what’s the harm? I’m fearless and clever, I’ll learn all I can I can make magic as well as a man There is magic in the air There is magic everywhere I want to bend it to my will There is magic in the earth There’s been magic since its birth And it’s calling to us still Yes I believe in magic And all that it can do Yes I believe in magic I’m learning it from you MERLIN (SPEAKING) There’s power in magic that’s certainly true But women have plenty of work they can do The cooking and cleaning must always be done Your magic can just be a hobby that’s fun 20

MORGAN You can do your own cooking and cleaning old man I’m learning your magic as fast as I can My powers are growing with every new day Be careful, you don’t want to stand in my way. There is magic in the air There is magic everywhere I want to bend it to my will There is magic in the earth There’s been magic since its birth And it’s calling to us still Yes I believe in magic It’s powerful and true Yes I believe in magic And I’m learning it from you MERLIN Very well, very well. Let us turn to some of my oldest spells of practical magic. Those are the ones you want to learn eh? Let me fetch my books. MERLIN EXITS MORGAN I will rule this kingdom. Whatever it takes. Look out Arthur. You have an enemy. And I will stop at nothing. MERLIN (offstage) Come on Morgan! 21

MORGAN (putting on a sweet smile) Coming Merlin! MERLIN Oui, j'aurais du être plus prudent avec Morgane. Je n’avais pas vu son penchant maléfique. Et il n’a pas fallu attendre longtemps avant qu'elle essaye de mettre ses plans à exécution. Scene 9 BANNER: MERLIN’S WORKSHOP

ARTHUR Hello! It is me: Arthur. KAY And me! Brave Sir Kay. ARTHUR I told you Kay, there is no need for you to be here. KAY But I want to meet your sister. ARTHUR Half sister. And you must have heard Merlin tell tales of Morgan, she can be a little .......difficult. KAY What do you mean difficult? MORGAN ENTERS MORGAN Arthur. So you finally decided to visit me and yet you do me the discourtesy of bringing this fool with you.

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KAY Oh right, yes, I see what you mean. MORGAN (to KAY) Who are you? KAY I am bold Sir Kay. MORGAN Ah yes I have heard tales of Sir Kay. They say at court that he is a fool, a man so stupid that he can barely put on his own fine tunic in the morning. KAY Well thanks, yes, I do have a very fine tunic. (TO ARTHUR) You never told me your sister was so pretty. Is this why you’ve been keeping us apart? In case she falls in love with me and can’t control herself. ARTHUR Well not exactly. KAY (TRYING TO FLIRT WITH MORGAN) So Morgan, I must say you’re a very attractive woman. MORGAN What on earth do you think you’re doing? KAY I’m just saying: you’re plague free, I’m plague free. Seems like we were destined to meet. KAY KISSES HER HAND MORGAN (DERISIVELY) I see that the tales about Sir Kay are all true. KAY (PROUDLY, MISUNDERSTANDING AND THINKING IT’S GOING WELL)

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All true my fair lady. ARTHUR So why did you want me to visit today Morgan? MORGAN Oh nothing really. Just a brother and half sister getting together, nothing funny about it. May I offer you some refreshment after your long journey? KAY Ooh yes please! MORGAN MOVES AWAY AND PLACES THREE IDENTICAL GOBLETS ON A ROUND TRAY MORGAN (MUTTERING TO HERSELF) Right. It doesn’t matter that Kay’s here. My plan will still work. Drug Arthur and Kay with the powerful sleeping draft and then tie them up. Leaving me to ride to Camelot and say I will only release Arthur if I am given a seat at the round table. SHE TAKES A POTION MORGAN Right. Some sleeping potion in the first cup, some sleeping potion in the second cup, the cup with no sleeping potion in it marked with a spoon. SHE PUTS A SPOON INTO ONE OF THE CUPS MORGAN Here we are gentlemen. Lovely refreshing drinks for us all. KAY REACHES OUT AND GRABS THE CUP WITH THE SPOON MORGAN No! Not that one! ARTHUR What do you mean? 24

MORGAN Oh er nothing. KAY D’you know Arthur. I’ve been meaning to mention this but every time I take a drink lately I get a terrible pain in my eye. ARTHUR Really? KAY GOES TO TAKE A SIP OF THE DRINK AND THE SPOON POKES HIM IN THE EYE KAY Ow!! Yes just like that. ARTHUR It’s the spoon Kay. Take it out of the cup! KAY PUTS THE CUP BACK ON MORGAN’S TRAY BUT IN A DIFFERENT PLACE, REMOVES THE SPOON, HOLDS IT IN HIS HAND AND LOOKS ROUND ANXIOUSLY FOR SOMEWHERE TO PUT IT. HE CAN’T FIND ANYWHERE SO DROPS IT INTO THE MIDDLE CUP KAY Good thinking Arthur. Another medical mystery solved eh? ARTHUR REACHES HIS HAND TOWARDS THE GOBLET WHICH NOW HAS A SPOON IN IT BUT KAY STOPS HIM KAY Ooh careful your majesty. HE REMOVES THE SPOON AND DROPS IT INTO ANOTHER GOBLET. THEN PICKS UP A DIFFERENT CUP AND PASSES IT TO ARTHUR MORGAN What are you doing Kay! KAY Sorry Morgan, ladies first of course.

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KAY TAKES THE CUP BACK FROM ARTHUR AND PUTS IT BACK ON THE TRAY IN A DIFFERENT POSITION. HE THEN PROFFERS THE TRAY WITH THE THREE GOBLETS ON IT TO MORGAN KAY There we go my lady, as we say in Britain: bottoms up! MORGAN NOW HAS NO IDEA WHICH CUP TO DRINK FROM MORGAN Well I’m not terribly thirsty. Why don’t you two go ahead. KAY Oh it would be rude my lady. Let us all drink together to the health of our King. ALL THREE OF THEM TAKE A GLASS FROM THE TRAY KAY, MORGAN AND ARTHUR RAISE THEIR GLASSES ALL TO THE KING! ARTHUR AND KAY RAISE THEIR GOBLETS AND DRINK. MORGAN WATCHES ANXIOUSLY. KAY YAWNS KAY Ahhhhhh. Ohh I’m exhausted. I might need a little lie down. KAY SLUMPS TO THE FLOOR MORGAN Ha! My plan is working. And you, Arthur? Feeling a little fatigued? Would you like a sleep? ARTHUR Well now you mention it Morgan I do feel a little sleepy. MORGAN Then know this Arthur: you have fallen into my trap. SHE TRIUMPHANTLY DRAINS HER GOBLET 26

MORGAN I have drugged two of the goblets with a powerful sleeping potion, and you will both soon be in my power. I will ride to Camelot and claim my place at the round table. ARTHUR Except Morgan, I have not drunk from my goblet. See? HE SHOWS HER THE GOBLET ARTHUR I knew you were up to something, so I only pretended to drink. But look what you have done to poor innocent Sir Kay! MORGAN It is only a sleeping draft and I .......oh, I can’t ...... SHE SLUMPS TO THE GROUND FAST ASLEEP ARTHUR Morgan? So was there a mistake? Was there sleeping potion in all three cups? KAY No I’m fine. ARTHUR What? But you were falling into a drugged sleep? KAY I think I was just tired from all that riding to get here. I feel much better now I’ve had a lovely drink and a lie down. ARTHUR Kay you are brilliant! You fooled Morgan into thinking she had drugged you. KAY Well your sister certainly knows how to party! I like her. 27

ARTHUR She’s my half sister. And now I know she is also my bitter enemy. She will stop at nothing to gain control of the country. From now on she is banished from Camelot. KAY Well that’s going to make it difficult for me to date her. ARTHUR You’ll have to find a new girlfriend Kay. KAY Well she’s going to be pretty upset about that I think. To be honest Arthur I still don’t understand what’s going on. ARTHUR It’s perfectly simple Kay. Morgan was planning to trap us. She put sleeping potion into two of the drinks and marked the drug-free one with a spoon. But then you swapped the goblets around and confused her. She thought we had both drunk the sleeping potions but in fact you had drunk the potion free drink and I didn’t drink my drink (HE HOLDS UP THE GOBLET ) which was drugged. Do you get it now? KAY Totally. Well it’s all turned out brilliantly. Cheers! KAY TAKES ARTHUR’S GOBLET AND DRAINS IT ARTHUR Kay no! KAY SLUMPS TO THE GROUND FAST ASLEEP ARTHUR Oh for goodness sake. ARTHUR EXITS, DRAGGING KAY WITH HIM MERLIN Et c'est ainsi que Morgane fut banni de Camelot. Son plan maléfique avait échoué. D’ailleurs, Arthur aimait beaucoup raconter à la cour comment Sir Kay avait finalement été plus malin qu’elle! 28

Un soir, un messager arriva. Un messager qui demanda à être admis à la cour pour offrir à Arthur une cape magnifique. Scene 10



BANNER: Meeting of the round table

ARTHUR Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord. A MESSENGER ENTERS AND BOWS TO ARTHUR ARTHUR Who is this girl who comes before the round table? MESSENGER I come from Morgan Le Fay. KAY Is it a message for me? Does she miss me? MESSENGER (puzzled) No it is a message for the King. KAY Oh right. She’s trying to play it cool eh? MESSENGER Morgan Le Fay has bid me to bring you a magnificent gift sire. She hopes you will accept it as an apology. ARTHUR What is this gift you bring? MESSENGER It is this magnificent cloak Sire. 29

KAY TAKES THE CLOAK KAY Ooh it’s lovely. Look at this Arthur it’s beautiful. What a peace offering. Let’s bury the hatchet and Morgan and I can get back together. I think we really had something. MESSENGER I am instructed your majesty that you must try it on. ARTHUR You may leave the gift here, girl. I am not interested in trying it on in front of the court. KAY Oh go on. KAY HOLDS UP THE CLOAK KAY Look it’s gorgeous. Fit for a King eh? ARTHUR Not now Kay. KAY Are you worried you’ve put on a little weight? It’s all those banquets. But it’s a pretty roomy cape. I think it’ll be fine. MESSENGER Morgan was most insistent that King Arthur must put on the cape. KAY She probably just wants to make sure you like it Arthur. In case you want to return it to the weaver. I expect she’s kept the receipt. ARTHUR I do not want to put it on now Kay.

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KAY Well this is just rude. I’ll put it on myself. KAY GOES TO PUT ON THE CAPE BUT AT THE LAST MINUTE HE CHANGES HIS MIND KAY Actually let’s all have a proper look at it. You can be our model. KAY DRAPES THE CLOAK ROUND THE MESSENGER AND STANDS BACK TO LOOK IMMEDIATELY THE MESSENGER SCREAMS IN AGONY AND STARTS WRITHING ABOUT MESSENGER Aaarghhh, aaarghhh it burns. ARTHUR My God Merlin the cape is on fire! THE MESSENGER COLLAPSES TO THE GROUND AND IS STILL MERLIN The messenger is dead my Lord. KAY Well that hardly ever happens. ARTHUR This is the last time we will listen to Morgan Le Fay. She is our sworn enemy. Merlin, you must tell her she can no longer be your apprentice. She is dangerous. You have already taught her too much. MERLIN Of course, Arthur. KAY Well I suppose it’s over between me and Morgan then. What a shame she turned out to be so murder-y. I’m going to miss her. 31

ARTHUR I have made my decision Kay. Now clear away that Messenger and we can get on with the business of the round table. KAY PULLS THE REMAINS OF THE CLOAK OVER THE MESSENGER AND DRAGS HER AWAY MERLIN Il était évident que Morgane ne pouvait plus être mon apprenti mais j’avais un faible pour elle et elle avait du talent pour la magie. Il était de mon devoir de la faire revenir dans le droit chemin. Scene 11

BANNER: MERLIN’S WORKSHOP

MERLIN Morgan? Morgan? MORGAN ENTERS CARRYING A SPELL BOOK MORGAN Merlin! What has happened? Do you bring sad news from the round table? MERLIN No Morgan I do not! Your plan has failed. King Arthur is alive and well. Your messenger is dead. Thanks to Sir Kay. MORGAN Kay again? How is it that this idiot continues to thwart me? MERLIN Perhaps it is his innocence and his good heart. MORGAN He is a fool Merlin and you know it. 32

MERLIN Well he beat you Morgan. In any event you are finished. Pack up your things, you are leaving today. MORGAN You will regret this Merlin. Without your help Arthur could never rule the Kingdom. Why not form an alliance with me and together we will rule the land? MERLIN Never Morgan. My loyalty is with the one true king. MORGAN I hoped you would be wise Merlin; but you are just a sad old man. Well, I gave you a chance. MERLIN What is this nonsense? MORGAN My studies have been progressing Merlin. SHE HOLDS UP THE BOOK MORGAN Look what I have found. MERLIN My rarest book of magic spells. You should not have that book Morgan you know I have forbidden it. That book was hidden in my secret chamber. MORGAN You have no more secrets from me Merlin. Your secret chamber indeed. Why it is just a cave hidden at the back of the workshop. MORGAN GESTURES AND THEY BOTH WALK IN MORGAN Did you think your magic could hide this book from me forever? 33

MERLIN I should never have trusted you. MORGAN Well in that you are right Merlin. I have learned a most powerful spell from your secret book. MERLIN What spell? MORGAN (READING AS SHE WALKS BACKWARDS OUT OF THE CAVE) Mensahmee, brohaffay, exopourriah MERLIN No Morgan no! I cannot move! MORGAN That’s right old man. And now I will simply seal up the cave again, and you will be trapped here for all eternity. Leaving me to fight on against my brother Arthur. MERLIN (WEAKLY) Half brother. MORGAN (BACKING AWAY STILL READING FROM THE BOOK) Goodbye Merlin. The cave is closing. You know as well as I do that without this magic book you cannot reverse the spell. Visicanno, merfodo, aiyah. MERLIN No, no!!! MERLIN Je me retrouvais pris au piège par ma propre magie, dans ma propre grotte secrète. J’étais au désespoir mais quand même très satisfait d'avoir penser à y mettre une chaise bien confortable… c’est mon optimisme naturelle ! Morgan se dirigeait vers Camelot pour mettre à exécution son plan contre le roi Arthur. Utilisant un sort puissant qu’elle m’avait volé elle changea son apparence et se présenta à la cour d'Arthur comme la reine Guenièvre, elle-même. 34

Scene 12

BANNER: CAMELOT BEDCHAMBER

ARTHUR IS ALONE. A KNOCK AT THE DOOR ARTHUR Who is it? MORGAN ENTERS MORGAN(AS GUINEVERE) Just your wife Sire, seeking your counsel. ARTHUR It is late my lady. Can this wait till the morning? MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) Sad to say my Lord it cannot. ARTHUR Very well my love. THEY SIT DOWN, MORGAN ON ARTHUR’S LAP MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) I have been much worried about Merlin my Lord. Where is he? ARTHUR He has gone to his workshop to inform the evil Morgan Le Fay that her plan has failed and she is banished from the Kingdom. MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) He has been gone a long time has he not? ARTHUR Yes, I suppose he has. MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) Perhaps it is time for you to seek a new adviser my King? 35

ARTHUR No no. I am sure that Merlin will return. MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) But you will not send your knights searching for him? ARTHUR No no my love. MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) Good good. SHE STROKES ARTHUR’S HAIR ARTHUR Stay with me tonight my sweet wife. MORGAN (AS GUINEVERE) Of course my King. THEY KISS, AND ARTHUR SWEEPS HER UP INTO HIS ARMS AND CARRIES HER OFFSTAGE MERLIN Utiliser un tel pouvoir était épuisant et Morgane ne pouvait pas rester transformée plus longtemps. Arthur se réveilla d'un sommeil étrange et se retrouva seul dans son lit. En faisant glisser sa main, il trouva un bracelet et se rendit compte qu'il avait été trompé. SCENE 13

BANNER: NEXT MORNING

ARTHUR ENTERS SHOUTING ARTHUR Kay! Guinevere! Come quickly.

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KAY What is it? Is it lunchtime? Have I overslept again? GUINEVERE Arthur, my Arthur? What’s wrong? ARTHUR I think something terrible has happened. Oh I wish Merlin was here. KAY What’s going on? ARTHUR (HOLDS UP THE BRACELET) Look at this. KAY Well it’s ok I suppose. I don’t wear a lot of jewellery myself. ARTHUR I found this in my bed this morning. Guinevere: did you leave it there? GUINEVERE No my Lord, I did not see you last night, I was fast asleep in my own bedchamber. ARTHUR No, it cannot be. GUINEVERE What has happened my love? ARTHUR See the bracelet here? It bears the crest of the Lady Igraine, my mother. KAY Look Arthur I’m as interested in jewellery as the next man but errr. What’s all this about?

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ARTHUR Who would have this bracelet? Only her daughter: Morgan Le Fay! GUINEVERE Morgan Le Fay was here? KAY Did she errr mention me at all? ARTHUR I have been foully tricked. Morgan came to me last night in the form of Guinevere. GUINEVERE What! ARTHUR Forgive me my love. She assumed your form. GUINEVERE You could not tell us apart? ARTHUR No man could have recognised her. Damn Merlin for ever teaching her magic. KAY Oh well. No harm done. ARTHUR AND GUINEVERE (TOGETHER) No harm done!?! KAY Well I mean it’s not your fault and it doesn’t really matter. ARTHUR But it is a terrible sin Kay. Morgan is my sister. GUINEVERE Half sister. 38

KAY Oh not all this again. I’ve never really understood this. ARTHUR GETS OUT A FAMILY TREE DIAGRAM ARTHUR See here. The Lady Igraine was married to The Duke of Cornwall. They had a daughter Morgan. But my father King Uther lusted after the Lady Igraine and used Merlin’s magic to take the form of her husband and trick his way into her bed. GUINEVERE Exactly the same magic Morgan has used on you. ARTHUR Exactly. You’d think we’d have learned to spot it by now wouldn’t you? So my parents were Lady Igraine and King Uther. Making Morgan my sister. GUINEVERE Half sister. ARTHUR Have you got it Kay? KAY I’ve got three questions. ARTHUR Go ahead. KAY Firstly: how old is Merlin? He must be absolutely ancient! I mean he looks old, but not that old. If he was wizarding before you were born then he’s got to be what? Fifty?! I mean how is he even alive? ARTHUR I think magic must be the answer to that one Kay. 39

KAY Secondly: where am I on this family tree? GUINEVERE Well you’re not really related are you? Merlin brought Arthur to your father’s house when he was a baby, so you grew up together as sort of foster brothers. KAY And thirdly: is it time for breakfast now we’ve got all this sorted out? SCENE 14

BANNER: MERLIN’S CAVE

MERLIN Pendant tout ce temps, j'étais toujours piégé dans ma grotte. J'ai essayé tous les sorts possibles, mais la magie de Morgane était trop forte. Je ne sais pas combien de jours je suis resté emprisonné là-dedans. Ça a dû durer au moins deux mois si j’en juge par la taille de ma barbe. Et le fait que je voulais vraiment aller faire pipi ! Un jour, j'ai entendu Morgane m'appeler de l'extérieur de la grotte. MORGAN Merlin, Merlin! How goes it you old fool? MERLIN Morgan is that you? Let me out! MORGAN I don’t think so Merlin. I cannot set you free until my plan is completed. I used your spell of transformation Merlin! The one you used to disguise King Uther. MERLIN Oh my stars. Morgan what have you done? MORGAN Arthur believed I was Guinevere. The spell worked perfectly. And now I am carrying King Arthur’s child.

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MERLIN To what purpose Morgan? What do you plan to do? MORGAN You are right Merlin. They will never let a woman rule the kingdom. But my son? That is a different matter. The son of King Arthur. Once my boy is grown we will kill Arthur and my boy will wear the crown. I shall call my him Mordred. MERLIN You’ve already picked out the name? MORGAN I have. It has a nice ring to it doesn’t it? King Mordred. MERLIN It’s a bit weird. What about George? Or William? Or Harry? Nice English names? MORGAN I want no more of your counsel Merlin. What are you these days? Just a mad old man who lives in a cave. MERLIN One day I will break free Morgan. And even if I don’t Arthur will do everything to stop you. MORGAN Goodbye Merlin. I hope it is goodbye forever. MERLIN No, wait Morgan, come back! MERLIN Je comprenais maintenant le plan de Morgane : Enfanter le fils d'Arthur Mordred, et plus tard, le faire combattre son père et prendre le trône. C'était un plan diabolique. Bien qu'il allait prendre un certain temps! J'espérais seulement que les chevaliers de la table ronde étaient à ma recherche.

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Scene 15

BANNER: MEETING OF THE ROUND TABLE

ARTHUR Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord! ARTHUR Well this is all going so well. It’s great isn’t it Kay? KAY Yes, I simply can’t imagine anything could go wrong. I love being a knight! ARTHUR Yes, so do I Kay. MUSIC BEGINS ARTHUR Being a knight is the best job in town Putting wrongs right as we gallop around Rescuing maidens, protecting the land The knights of the table as our merry band ALL A knight, a knight it’s the only life for me Full of fighting, horses, adventure, chivalry A knight a knight it’s the life we love the best Being a knight’s not a joke or a jest KAY (breaking into rap) I’m oiling the armour, feeding up the horse And frequently polishing the shields of course 42

You should know all this, I’m preaching to the choir It’s busy all the time when you’re King Arthur’s squire. I can’t complain the job’s real swell But I didn’t know a knight would have to work all through the day as well. But am I happy? yes I am a lot It’s loads of fun hanging out at Camelot. Dining at night on venison and pheasants Getting a whole load of cash from the peasants Living a life full of jousting and parades One day I may get to join the crusades Yeah being a knight can sometimes be a hassle But at least I get to live in this great big castle. ALL A knight, a knight it’s the only life for me Full of fighting, horses, adventure, chivalry A knight a knight it’s the life we love the best Being a knight’s not a joke or a jest A knight a knight it’s the only life for me Full of feasting, lances, sieges, pageantry A knight a knight it’s the life we love the best Being a knight means that we never re………est. ALL Hurrah! ARTHUR 43

By the way any news of Merlin? KAY Not a word Arthur. Should we be worried? He’s not usually gone so long. ARTHUR Merlin has his own ways Kay. He will come back when he chooses. KAY I suppose so. THE LADY OF THE LAKE ENTERS THE COURT LEADING A YOUNG KNIGHT KAY Ooh hello. Who’s this? Blimey, you’re all wet madam. Is it raining? ARTHUR I know this Lady. She is the Lady of the Lake. KAY Oh well that makes some sort of sense then. (TRYING TO BE GRAND) Would you like a towel my Lady? LADY OF THE LAKE Arthur I come to bring you a young man who I have raised to be a fine Knight. KAY Ooh I’ve got so many questions. Did he live in the Lake with you? How does that work? Doesn’t his armour go rusty? ARTHUR There will be time enough for questions later. Who is this Knight my Lady. LADY OF THE LAKE His name is Lancelot. Lancelot du Lac. KAY That’s Lancelot of the Lake. Even I can work that out. LADY OF THE LAKE 44

And who are you? KAY (TRYING TO SHOW OFF) Why I am Sir Kay. Kay de la Maison. LADY OF THE LAKE I see. ARTHUR Don’t you remember Kay? This is Lancelot, the Knight who Merlin foretold would be the greatest Knight of all. We have kept a seat at the round table for him all this time. KAY Oh one of Merlin’s prophecies. LADY OF THE LAKE Where is Merlin? KAY No-one’s seen him for ages. It’s all a bit weird. LANCELOT Will you accept me as your loyal Knight? (HE KNEELS) ARTHUR Of course. Arise Sir Lancelot. You are a Knight of the round table. Come, I must introduce you to my wife Guinevere. THEY EXIT KAY (TO THE LADY OF THE LAKE AS HE OFFERS HER HIS ARM) Well my Lady. Lovely to meet you. Shall I show you around? Or would you rather sit in the moat?

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Scene 16

BANNER: Guinevere’s chamber

ARTHUR My love, I would like to introduce you to a new member of our company. LANCELOT Lancelot is honoured to meet you your Majesty. Lancelot du Lac. GUINEVERE (Obviously attracted to him) Ooh. Lovely to meet you. ARTHUR Lancelot has joined the round table my dear. GUINEVERE Then he has fulfilled Merlin’s prophecy. The round table is now complete. LANCELOT Lancelot pledges loyal service to you and to King Arthur. GUINEVERE Why thank you Lancelot. Errr, have you see much of Camelot? Would you like me to show you around? LANCELOT That would be lovely my Lady. ARTHUR Excellent idea. Give you two a chance to get to know each other. GUINEVERE (FLIRTY) Perhaps you would like to see the ramparts. THERE IS A TENSE PAUSE ARTHUR Perfect. I can’t tell you Lancelot what a weight it has taken off my mind to have the Queen looked after by such a fine, loyal and chaste knight. 46

LANCELOT (STARING INTO GUINEVERE’S EYES) Sorry? ARTHUR You shall be her special protector. LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE ARE NOW HOLDING HANDS LOOKING LOVINGLY AT EACH OTHER ARTHUR Well, see you later you two. GUINEVERE What? Oh yes, yeah whatever. MUSIC BEGINS ARTHUR It would be tremendous, would help me in life If I found a knight who could save me from strife His name is Lancelot Oh shall I take this chance or not? And let him look after my wife. ARTHUR Guinevere Guinevere My love for you is most sincere KAY But being a King's not all fun ARTHUR Guinevere Guinevere I've got a lot to do my dear KAY You’ve got a whole big kingdom to run. 47

No more need to worry or grumble or stew I think he's a knight who is loyal and true His name is Lancelot He likes to sing and dance a lot He'll be the perfect company for you. ARTHUR Guinevere Guinevere I can't always be right here KAY Sometimes a king has to roam Guinevere Guinevere Now there's nothing left to fear KAY Young Lancelot will keep her safe at home. Oh Guinevere Guinevere I need never shed a tear Young Lancelot will keep you safe at home. MERLIN Le jeune et beau chevalier Lancelot du Lac prit donc sa place à la table ronde. Et moi où étais-je donc? Ah oui ! Toujours emprisonné dans cette misérable grotte! J'étais désespéré. Jusqu'au jour où j'entendis un bruit venant de l'atelier… Scene 17

BANNER: Merlin’s workshop

KAY Merlin! Merlin! Anyone here? MERLIN Who’s there? 48

KAY Merlin is that you? MERLIN Kay?! KAY This isn’t funny Merlin. Come out wherever you are. MERLIN I can’t Kay. Evil Morgan Le Fay has magicked me into a trap. I’ve been praying that someone would come and find me. KAY Well relax Merlin. I’m here now. MERLIN Right. Umm, is Arthur with you at all? KAY Arthur? No. MERLIN Sir Bedivere? KAY No. MERLIN Sir Gawain? He would be great in this situation. KAY No. MERLIN Sir Tristan then? He is a wise and clever Knight.

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KAY No. MERLIN So it’s just you? KAY Yes just me. MERLIN Aaaarghhh! Why do the gods taunt me so? KAY I don’t know what you’re on about Merlin, but don’t worry I’ll have you out of there in no time. Errr, where are you exactly? I can’t see you. MERLIN Morgan has trapped me in the secret cave behind the workshop. I’ve been here for months. KAY Ohh that’s exciting. A secret cave! MERLIN Right Kay I need you to concentrate. KAY What’s it like in there Merlin? Have you had any food? Or a bath? Wow you must be really disgusting by now. Arthur makes me have a bath every month. Whether I need one or not. MERLIN Don’t get distracted Kay. Listen to me. Look around. Can you see a big book? KAY Oh yeah sure.

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MERLIN My spell book! KAY (PICKING UP RANDOM BOOKS) There’s loads of books. Is it this one: Tasty Recipes For One? MERLIN No. KAY Beards Beards Beards? MERLIN No not that one. KAY “Magickal incantations and diabolical spells from ancient times”? MERLIN That’s it. KAY Really? It looks a bit boring. Let’s see if we can find something else. MERLIN No! KAY Okay. So what do we do now? MERLIN We need to find a spell to undo Morgan’s enchantment. KAY Right . Okay: invisibility, toads ravens and dragons, potions, mists and typhoons? MERLIN No. Look harder Kay. 51

KAY Trapped in a cave. MERLIN What? What did you say? KAY Hah! Just kidding. Ohh this one looks good: werewolves and bats. MERLIN No, that won’t do. There must be something else. KAY Well there’s just this one: Beguiling, obscuring and ensnaring. Don’t know what that means. MERLIN That’s it that’s the one! KAY Ok, what now? MERLIN You see the spell? KAY Yes, Mensahmee, brohaffay - MERLIN Yes that was it. But does it not say the reversal spell? KAY No. There’s nothing else here. MERLIN Oh woe is me. There is no reversal spell. I am to be Morgan’s prisoner for all eternity. Oh howl howl! 52

KAY All right Merlin. Give it a rest. Let me think. MERLIN Well that will be a first. KAY We want the spell reversed right? MERLIN Of course we do. KAY Then how about if I say it whilst walking backwards. In reverse get it? KAY WALKS BACKWARDS SAYING THE SPELL. NOTHING HAPPENS. MERLIN Oh Kay, you are brilliant! KAY Really? You think that’ll work. MERLIN No of course not! But we need to reverse the spell. Read it backwards Kay. KAY Mee-sah-men, ay-fah-bro, riah-pour-exo MERLIN It’s working , it’s working. Keep going Kay. KAY



No-can-vis, doe-fo-mer, yah ay MERLIN BURSTS OUT OF THE CAVE AND EMBRACES KAY MERLIN Kay you’ve done it! You’re a genius. 53

KAY It might surprise you to know that no-one’s ever said that before. MERLIN Oh it is such a relief to be free at last. Thank goodness you came looking for me Kay. KAY Oh yes that’s right. I came to tell you one of your prophecies came true. Some bloke called Lancelot turned up. The great Knight you told us about. The one we left a seat for at the round table. MERLIN Ahh KaY, I fear this is the beginning of the end of the round table. KAY You and your prophecies of doom Merlin. The goblet’s always half empty with you. Cheer up! I reckon you’ve got this one wrong. Lancelot seems really nice. And he’s gorgeous! Even Queen Guinevere says so. MERLIN Does she indeed? KAY Oh come on Merlin, let’s go home to Camelot. Arthur will be so excited to see you. Although maybe you should have a bath first! MERLIN Enfin, j'étais libre… soulagé... et propre ! Kay et moi avons alors chevauché jusqu’à Camelot. J'étais très inquiet de ce qui était arrivé Scene 18

BANNER: GUINEVERE’S CHAMBER

GUINEVERE AND LANCELOT LAUGHING TOGETHER GUINEVERE Oh Lancelot. You are hilarious. And so handsome, if you don’t mind me saying so. 54

LANCELOT And you are very beautiful my Queen. Lancelot will always be your protector. GUINEVERE Oh Lancelot. LANCELOT Oh Guinevere. Lancelot fears there is gossip at the round table. GUINEVERE About us? LANCELOT Yes. They say we are spending too much time together my lady. GUINEVERE But we are just friends. Very good friends. I think you are the best friend I ever had. LANCELOT But there are those who think we are falling in love. GUINEVERE What nonsense! LANCELOT Yes, of course nonsense. As if I would fall in love with King Arthur’s wife. GUINEVERE And as if I could fall in love with anyone other than Arthur. No matter how handsome, and dashing and brave and devoted he was. LANCELOT Lancelot could never fall in love with the Queen, no matter how beautiful and charming and kind and generous she was. GUINEVERE So there we have it. We are not in love. 55

LANCELOT Absolutely not in love. SONG: GUINEVERE Since we were introduced I’ve come to know Your little smiles and how you say hello LANCELOT I’ve seen your pretty face and touched your hand But you are married to another man GUINEVERE We hardly know each other after all LANCELOT I sometimes see you passing in the hall GUINEVERE But still quite far apart from you I stand For I am married to another man LANCELOT Like a fish and a bike GUINEVERE Like a foot and a glove LANCELOT & GUINEVERE We two are not alike We’re absolutely not in love LANCELOT Like a cat and a dog

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GUINEVERE Like beginning and end LANCELOT Like the left and the right GUINEVERE Like stranger and friend LANCELOT Like the dark and the fair GUINEVERE Like below and above LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE We two are not a pair We’re absolutely not in love LANCELOT So no matter what the other people say I know we’ll always go our separate ways GUINEVERE There’s no more unlikely couple in the land For I am married to another man LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE Let the stars throw down their light from up above But we are absolutely not in love Like a fish and a bike Like a foot and a glove We two are not alike We’re absolutely not in love 57

Like the dark and the fair Like below and above We two are not a pair We’re absolutely not in love. We’re absolutely not in love. LANCELOT Positively, absolutely GUINEVRE Are you certain? LANCELOT Yes I’m certain LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE We’re absolutely not in love. THEY LEAN CLOSER FOR A KISS. BUT BEFORE THEIR LIPS CAN TOUCH, KAY BURSTS IN KAY Guinevere...come quick Merlin is back! LANCELOT AND GUINEVERE LOOK GUILTY KAY Oh, I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything. Scene 19

BANNER: MEETING OF THE ROUND TABLE

ARTHUR Are all my brave knights here? AUDIENCE Yes my Lord! 58

ARTHUR We welcome back Merlin. And what a tale I heard about his imprisonment and his rescue by dashing Sir Kay. KAY Oh it was nothing. MERLIN (entering) I owe you a great debt Kay. ARTHUR We must be watchful for Morgan Le Fay. Now we know her plan but it will be many years before her son Mordred will be old enough to fight against us. MERLIN Meanwhile do you have something in mind your majesty? ARTHUR I do Merlin. I propose to send my brave Knights of the Round Table on a quest. KAY Ohh brilliant, I love a good quest. ARTHUR I have heard tell that there is a great power in the Holy Grail. I would like to have it. KAY The holy what? MERLIN Grail, Kay. The Holy Grail. KAY What’s a grail? And why is it full of holes? ARTHUR No no Kay. It’s holy. Sacred. The grail is the cup of Christ from his last supper. 59

KAY You’re sending us out to quest for a second hand cup? Can’t you just buy a new one? GUINEVERE The grail is a most sacred object Kay. It is a prize indeed. ARTHUR Exactly. And that is why I am sending my best knights. GUINEVERE Sir Bedivere? Sir Gawain? Sir Tristan? ARTHUR Yes, and Lancelot of course. GUINEVERE Lancelot? ARTHUR Problem? GUINEVERE No, no of course not that’s fine. How long will it take do you think? KAY Well it sounds like it’s going to be tricky. Could be years. GUINEVERE (sadly) Years. KAY (HUGGING GUINEVERE) Oh your majesty, I’ll miss you too. ARTHUR We will miss you all. But this is the quest I have chosen for the knights of the round table. MERLIN Good fortune to you all. God speed you on your great quest. 60

KAY Hurray! ALL Hurray! MERLIN Eh bien, avec les chevaliers se préparant à leur quête pour trouver le Saint Graal, je pense que c'est le bon moment pour arrêter notre histoire. La prochaine fois, je vous parlerai de la quête du Graal, de Lancelot et de Guenièvre et bien sûr, de Morgane et de son plan pour tuer Arthur et reprendre le royaume. Ooh, je suis tellement impatient de savoir comment tout ça s’est passé. Scene 20

BANNER: END OF THE SHOW

FINAL SONG: MERLIN With knights and King Arthur With singing and laughter We’ve told you a story today ARTHUR With wizards and magic GUINEVERE And love that is tragic KAY But now it’s the end of the play ARTHUR Merlin is here and we have no more fear Cos Morgan Le Fay is long gone

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KAY And the knights at our best Are now on a new quest Whatever on earth could go wrong? ALL Yes all is resolved, all our problems are solved King Arthur is safe on the throne I’d be willing to bet, there’ll be trouble ahead But for now it is time to go home. ARTHUR My knights without fail Will search for the grail GUINEVERE With Lancelot gone I’ll be sad ARTHUR And Morgan Le Fay Will return one fine day KAY And I bet she will do something bad ALL But let’s take a bow, it’s all sorted for now King Arthur is safe on the throne At least for today It’s all turned out okay And now it is time to go home. 62

So goodbye from us all as we’re leaving your hall We hope you enjoyed our new play With a tear in our eye, we wave you goodbye From Morgan and Merlin and Arthur and Kay THE END

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