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INTERNATIONAL MEN'S DAY
Who cares about men?
17/11/2016 12:00
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Tea Tuda, DGA 1, Equal Opportunities
To mark International Men's Day on 19 November, we are launching a series of articles addressing the experiences of men in the GSC. In the first article, read about the challenges male colleagues are facing as they try to juggle work and family life.
Equal Opportunities at the GSC News and Views on Equal Opportunities Movember Foundation
We opened a conversation on a range of issues with nine male colleagues representing different age groups and areas of work in the GSC. This included male assistants and secretaries, administrators and Heads of Unit, as well as colleagues working in shifts. We are bringing together their views on work-life balance and the challenges of fatherhood.
"It's harder for men to take parental leaves" The interviewees recognised that the challenge of combining 40 hours at work with private life was a problem for both men and women. Commuting time included, working days can be longer than ten hours. The situation might be even more challenging for shift workers because, due to non-standard work schedules, they may not be able to spend time with their children for several days in a row. Although flexible working options are available to both men and women, men tend to use them far less than women do. In 2015, only 20% of parental or family leaves in the GSC were taken by men. Similarly, a mere 20% of employees who worked part-time were men. On the other hand, flexible working can be an option even for managers, since six male and eight female managers worked part-time or took parental leave at least once during 2015. Parental leave is mostly used in July and August to extend annual leave when children have school holidays, but is less popular during the rest of the year. However, what happens if the working culture offers less flexibility for men than it does for women? Depending on the position and the area of work, men may be discouraged from taking parental leave. Most of the men we spoke to admitted that they felt pressure not to take parental leaves: "The pressure is subtle. There's an expectation, and it's partly due to internalised thoughts. I remember when I did take parental leave, I felt like I was letting my colleagues down. It was hard. It's in the culture, in your own thinking and linked to your sense of professional responsibility." Another colleague explained: "It's harder for men to take parental leaves because of the pressure not to do it, gender roles, traditions and stereotypes, as well as the fear of not being promoted." Some men resented being treated differently from their female colleagues: "Parental leave doesn't feel like a male right. It is a right, but it doesn't feel like it. Having a certain right doesn't necessarily mean you can exercise it. At all." The interviewees also pointed to the harmful consequences that this situation has for gender equality: "If men don't take leaves, women have to take them because somebody always has to look after the children." There is a real and urgent need to ensure that gender equality is no longer seen as just a women's issue. "If men are to support gender equality, the policies must be such that they look after men as well. The idea is surely to build a better society for both sexes. We have the same interests" adds another colleague.
"The role of the man has changed" With the cultural shift and the change in traditional gender norms, men now want to be fully involved in family life, alongside women. "Theoretically men and women have equal rights, but in practice, the equal society is only half-built", one colleague said. "The current generation of men is under huge pressure", he adds. "The man has to be the bread-winner with a successful career, but he is also expected to be a very hands-on parent - and also the guy who fixes the car and paints the house and does it all. It's too much. It's linked to the huge divorce rates as well in many countries." Others stressed the need for society to accommodate the new roles that women and men play in families and at work: "Things have changed rapidly since our parents' times. It was too abrupt in a sense, and we haven't adapted as a society." "It shouldn't
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be a daily struggle to bring up children", another colleague stressed. "And of course men play a huge role in this, and should take part of the responsibility in the search for solutions." Yet another colleague stated: "Men have the right to devote time to their families and children! But sometimes they do not insist enough on exercising this right."
"Family is where you get your energy from" Many of our interviewees stressed that their families were crucial for their emotional well-being: "If my family is well, I can perform 200 percent. If my family doesn't do well, I perform with very low efficiency". The interviewees consider spending time with their families as essential, since they think fathers present an irreplaceable figure in a child's life. Another colleague added: 'Every minute or second that I can possibly be with my family, I'm happy." One interviewee revealed how his patterns of work had changed as he got older: "When you're a young man, you believe that you're indispensable and you think the whole Council would collapse if you weren't physically present. With age, you realise that the world still goes on if you're not there. You realise that where you get your energy from is your family and the outside world." Another colleague said. "At the end of the day, a good work-life balance will allow you to perform better at work". Some of our interviewees also have families or children living in their home country. It is therefore important for them to have flexible options at work. The possible solutions include travelling back home once or twice a month for long weekends, working part-time or adding some parental leave to holiday leave. "During the weeks here I work more, but every second Friday I leave very early or take the day off", a colleague explained. "It is difficult but it's our choice - the children have their lives back there", another colleague added.
Why do we need an International Men's Day? International Men's Day is an annual event celebrated on 19 November. It was inaugurated in 1992 and is supported by UNESCO as a platform where the stories of men could be told in their own words rather than being interpreted by others. Topics addressed include male stereotypes, men's health, the challenges of fatherhood, gender equality, masculinity and male identity. The international foundation Movember has dedicated November to men's issues, with a special emphasis on men's health. You can look for more information, including their 'Grow a moustache' campaign on their website. In December, you can read more about men's views on gender equality, followed by a January article on men's health. Keep an eye on Domus!
Commentaires: (15) By TUDA Tea (stagiaire) | 22/11/2016 15:02
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The Equal Opportunities Office would like to thank everyone for sharing their views and experiences, as well as providing us with constructive feedback. We are happy to see the positive reactions and support the project is receiving. You are invited to read and comment on our gender equality article, which will be published mid-December! By EVANS Sue | 22/11/2016 14:05 Illness, bereavement, and other personal difficulties beyond our control are all part of life, and we would have to be robots if they did not affect our performance at some point in our career. We just have to trust that we all try to do our best to the best of our abilities. The ups and downs of life are also part of work, in the same way that the ups and downs of work are also part of life. Thank heaven that human beings are capable of a bit of give and take. I'll try to grow a moustache for solidarity, with all men and women. By SCHICKEL Caroline | 21/11/2016 11:06 Merci Ronan de ton commentaire très juste. By LE POUPON Ronan | 21/11/2016 10:22 Famille OU travail? Je n'ai jamais pensé que je devais choisir! J'ai donc remplacé le "ou" par un "et". Je travaille à temps partiel et prends un congé parental chaque été depuis 2006 car je veux être un papa à 100%. Je veux moi aussi aller chercher mes filles à la sortie de l'école, les accompagner à leurs activités, passer du (bon) temps avec elles, mais aussi être là lorsqu'elles sont malades ou qu'elles ont besoin de soutien dans les moments plus difficiles. Grâce à cela, mon épouse peut, elle aussi, se réaliser professionnellement, sans devoir choisir entre famille et carrière (là encore, "et" et non pas "ou"). ET pour autant, je n'ai pas l'impression que ma vie privée empiète sur mon engagement professionnel, au contraire! Lorsque je suis au bureau, je le suis à 100%. A moi de me débrouiller pour que mon travail soit fait, pour jongler avec les réunions, les échéances, etc. A moi de faire preuve de la flexibilité nécessaire pour que ça fonctionne. C'est parfois compliqué, mais très stimulant! Je suis convaincu que la vraie égalité entre hommes et femmes, c'est la possibilité pour chacun(e) de choisir sans se soumettre à un rôle prédéfini, quel qu'il soit (que l'on soit parent ou pas, d'ailleurs!). By MARY Pascal | 21/11/2016 07:21 La journée de la femme ou la journée de l'homme sont des leurres. Nous pourrons dire que nous progressons lorsque nous aurons la capacité de sélectionner un profil et non choisir un genre. By DEMANET Vincent | 18/11/2016 12:02 Merci d'avoir partagé cet article. Je fais partie des rares qui prennent des conges parentaux dans notre institution et je peux confirmer des pressions que je reçois sur le sujet à chaque fois. Les mentalités doivent encore fortement évoluer. C'est tellement agréable quelques jours par an de ne pas mettre la pression sur les enfants le matin et le soir pour rentrer dans les horaires, de pouvoir les accueillir juste après une mauvaise journée d'école et absorber leur stress, de permettre à sa partenaire d'aussi s'épanouir dans sa vie professionnelle, de lui confirlmer qu'elle n'a pas que le droit de rester à la maison, de revenir zen auprès de ses collègues. et de leur proposer de faire aussi la meme chose. A ce propos des formules similaires devraient aussi exister pour des couples qui n'ont pas d'enfant. lL'équilibre d'un couple/famille depend du temps que l'on peut y consacrer. Le rythme metro-boulot-dodo n'a pas démontré de valeur ajoutée pour le bien être familliale. Je souhaite à tous mes collègues de tenter un bon petit conge parental.:=) By NIKIFOROVA Simona | 18/11/2016 11:44 Thank you for this very interesting and objectively written article! By ALELIUNAITE Ausra | 18/11/2016 09:49 Perhaps the idea was not a bad one, but it took the whole issue into the wrong direction. I would never like to work with a colleague who is guided by the principle that "If my family is well, I can perform 200 percent. If my family doesn't do well, I perform with very low efficiency" and whose personal life defines his/her performance, moods and attitudes at work. Once you start bringing your personal life to work, there is no easy solution to leverage everybody's interests. Parental leave might be a right, but it is no secret that it creates tensions within teams and those who have to pick up the slack are often not compensated. It is also operationally not possible in many services of the house to opt to stay at home even half the time when kids are on holidays. This organisation has made huge progress in the last 10 years in terms of
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flexible working arrangements (as a mother of 3, I have an idea of what I am talking about) for all sorts of reasons also beyond parental responsibilities, but there are limits to what can be accommodated in an international diplomacy hub functioning on tight operational deadlines. One should assume people know what they are signing up to while they join the GSC. By DUYM Frederik | 18/11/2016 08:08 Supprimé par DUYM Frederik le 18/11/2016 08:09 By DUYM Frederik | 18/11/2016 08:08 A l'exception de nominations d'hommes dans des bastions douloureusement phallocrates comme l'informatique ou dans des directoires attribués sur base d'influences politiques, inévitable pour une institution qui l'est par essence, la nomination à des postes d'encadrement de jeunes femmes prometteuses certes, mais sans expérience de management par ailleurs se déconnecte complètement de la posture clamée, assumée et parfaitement justifiable de préférer des femmes en cas d'EGALE compétence afin de rétablir une balance sexuée en déséquilibre. Il est dès lors urgent de donner un caractère transparent à des procédures de sélection qui découragent de plus en plus d'hommes à se porter candidat à de telles fonctions, leur élimination étant laconiquement commentée par un "manque de motivation". Quand dans de grandes unités ou secteur personne de l'intérieur ne se porte candidat, il me semble que ceux qui le font de l'extérieur sont de facto soit d'une grande motivation, soit alors très mal informés et inconscients. By DUYM Frederik | 18/11/2016 08:08 Supprimé par DUYM Frederik le 18/11/2016 08:09 By AMORIM Luis | 17/11/2016 18:59 thank you for bringing this important topic to our attention; indeed, full equality can only be achieved when it's also natural for men to feel their roles as fathers, and the time they invest in parenting their children, is as important as that of mothers; fathers are not 'deputy parents', they are parents, full stop; a corporate culture able to acknowledge and embrace men's interest in their family lives, and their children's upbringing, including their wish to take parental leave, can contribute to higher levels of professional satisfaction, commitment and staff/value retention. By AMORIM Luis | 17/11/2016 18:54 Supprimé par AMORIM Luis le 17/11/2016 18:58 By ROLAND Jean-Eric | 17/11/2016 16:35 Very interesting article. Another point of view about the hardship of the male condition is the drastic reduction in career prospects at the GSC for men, due to the catching-up of women's appointments to management positions. By MCFADDEN Frances | 17/11/2016 13:32 Excellent! Thank you to the Equal Opportunities Team for this article highlighting that equality is not only a women's issue. We are all different, all equal. Men and women can be stay at home parents or build a career or move between the two at different times in our lives. The choice is now open to us.
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