What to do . . . before saying 'I do'

I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Married daters ... If you want to be in a wedding gown by June, this is .... Shanna and Adam Hales dance during their ...
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BACK PAGE Thursday, February 20, 2003

Daters: Beware of duds As spring approaches, love is in the air and single college girls everywhere are becoming serious about snagging that perfect mate. Before the games begin, I believe it necessary to warn those looking for “that special someone” of the potential undatable duds that are ubiquitous throughout campus. While I am no dating expert, I believe no one should needlessly suffer through the rotten rendezvous I’ve experienced during my dating career. I have given pseudonyms to past dates who I would like to forget. Though their identities are protected, the situations were real and remain poignant in my memory. Kevin Kevin was a lot of fun. His only problem was he suffered from a slight case of halitosis and continually had food in his teeth. Kevin was an amateur dater. While hanging out with an amateur can be fun, generally long-term relationships are ruled out primarily for one reason. The level of physical attraction most girls have with an amateur is comparable to their desire to makeout with their brothers. Watch out girls, these guys are sensitive. If you don’t return their phone calls for that second date you risk breaking their hearts0 and losing a good shopping partner. Verdict — Date an amateur only if he knows it’s nothing more than friendship, otherwise steer clear. Shawn Shawn held a great conversation and was an expert flirt. I did a double take, however, when I noticed he was wearing a wedding ring. Married daters believe society owes them a favor for letting them get into a marriage that has proven to be unsuccessful. Most have gained weight since relaxing into marriage but still consider themselves quite handsome. If turned down by a conquest, married daters become defensive and pretend as if they never had interest in dating you in the first place. Watch out girls, married daters are never up front with their girls. After the third date, if you still don’t know where he lives, ask him why he’s being so secretive. He just might come clean. Verdict — Never date a married man. These guys are the lowest of FOR YA the low and cheating is sport. They’ll never be SOUL true to one girl. Leon Leon was the guy who would hit on you in January, invite you on date and then forget to pick you up. Come February you might run into him and he would reintroduce himself because he’s forgotten you’ve already met. KELSEY BLACKWELL Leon was a serial dater. To this type of guy, every girl is a potential date. Serials think they are God’s gift to women and by sharing their congeniality they believe they are performing a community service. It doesn’t take long to figure out who a serial dater is, especially when you catch them in the library using the same pickup lines they used on you — twice. Watch out girls, these guys are charming and might tempt you to make dinner for them. Verdict — If your date knows more girls on campus than you do, check out ASAP. Scott Dating Scott was like interviewing for a job. After returning home from his mission he was looking for a wife with the right credentials. These type of daters carry a checklist (at the top of which is “likes to cook” and “plans to bear more than four children”). While these guys are perfect for girls who are ready to get hitched, dates can be boring as they rattle off relentlessly long details about their mission and highlight the knowledge they obtained through their experiences as an Eagle Scout. Watch out girls, if you do find yourself swooning you could be replaced by someone who better meets his needs. Verdict — Dating is acceptable but not for the weak hearted. If you want to be in a wedding gown by June, this is they guy for you. Slade Though we never dated, Slade sure gave it his all to get my number. Though I don’t want to sound harsh, Slade was slightly lower on the totem pole of social standards and is considered a desperate dater. To a desperate, dating is like fishing. They’ll throw out their bait all day but are lucky if they catch a girl. Though repeatedly shut down, desperates are never discouraged. After a bad day of searching for a date at the library, they’re not afraid to jump into the pool of untapped resources at different location. Watch out girls, Slades are nice, but not nice enough to date. If you do end up getting tricked or are just too nice to turn them down politely you might be in for a bumpy ride. Once these guys get a bite they are relentless. It is impossible to tell them they don’t have a chance with out being flat-out rude. Verdict — Be nice but not encouraging. Tell them you have a boyfriend. Kelsey is the Accent Editor for the University she can be reached at Journal [email protected].


EDITOR Kelsey Blackwell, 865-8443

What to do . . . before saying ‘I do’ Prenuptial planner

He’s given the engagement ring and asked the question; she’s delightfully said “Yes!” Spreading out tasks can the reduce the mad-dash at the last minute. By two months before The bride and groom should:

❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑

Set wedding date. Reserve wedding site. Make invitation list. Plan reception. Discuss wedding cost. Select photographer. Order invitations. Plan honeymoon and make reservations. ❑ Arrange for a member of clergy or a judge to perform ceremony. ❑ Purchase wedding album. ❑ Make post wedding plans such as finding a house. The bride should:

❑ Choose attendants. ❑ Select dress. ❑ Pick dress for attendants. ❑ Complete trousseau. ❑ Purchase the groom’s ring. The groom should: ❑ Select best man. ❑ Select ushers. ❑ Choose men’s attire. ❑ Buy bride’s wedding ring. By one month before The bride and groom should:


Shanna Hales, a senior sociology major from Duchesne, and Adam Hales, a senior engineering major from Redmond, cut the wedding cake during their reception. The Hales celebrated theirst first anniversary this month.

❑ Order flowers. ❑ Set up premarital exams. ❑ Make arrangements for out-of-town guests. ❑ Finalize wedding and reception plans. ❑ Mail invitations. ❑ Order cake.

❑ Find a caterer. ❑ Prepare annoucement for the newspaper. The bride should:

❑ Enjoy bridal shower. ❑ Have bridal portrait taken. ❑ Make sure gown is ready. ❑ Purchase attendants’ gifts. ❑ Purchase groom’s gift. The groom should: ❑ Enjoy bachelor party. ❑ Purchase gift for best man. ❑ Purchase gift for the bride. By two weeks before The bride and groom should:

❑ ❑ ❑ ❑

Obtain marriage license. Place annoucement. Finish reception plans. Make sure all invitations are mailed. ❑ Pack belongings for move. ❑ Verify honeymoon plans. By one week before The bride and groom should:

❑ ❑ ❑ ❑

Rehearse ceremony. Complete final checks. Move into new home. Spend some time together relaxing to calm jitters. The bride should: ❑ Make personal preparations. ❑ Pack for honeymoon. The groom should: ❑ Make personal preparations. ❑ Pack for honeymoon. ❑ Purchase traveler’s checks.

Source: Checklist adapted from Uncommon Common Sense by Lynn Poulson, a professor of home and family studies at Snow College. GRAPHIC BY DAVID PAYSTRUP / UNIVERSITY JOURNAL

Are you ready? Students relate their wedding experiences; from finding ‘the one’ to planning the ceremony By KIRSTEN TATE

keep in touch.” She said she didn’t know what would happen until he came home, but that it ended up just being right. “The feelings just grow and grow and you just grow closer, and he never annoyed me Relationship TV shows like The Bachelor, Joe Millionaire and Blind Date draw and I didn’t get sick of him,” she said. “It wasn’t wonderland; he was just with it.” Kelly Esplin, a junior elementary education major from Garland, got married on millions of viewers as Americans root for those searching for love. Marriage is a part of life for more than one-third of SUU students. According to Dec. 13, 2002. She said she knew her husband, Nick, was the one for her almost the first time she saw him. records at the SUU Registrar’s Office, 2,129 students are married. She said they met through a mutual friend and when he “That is an absurdly low number because when the men get walked into the room, she said she thought, “I could marry married, they don’t have to change their name, so they aren’t him.” usually recorded,” said Kathy Barrick, Registrar’s Office “That thought freaked me out because I had just met him, so I secretary. didn’t know why I was thinking that,” she said. With so many people to choose, finding “the one” can be a But she said she could just tell that he was right for her. She daunting task. For those who have found that right relationship, had made a list of qualities she wanted in a husband, and she however, everything just falls into place. said he was better than the list. Allison Draney, a senior communication major from Sandy, “We just match,” she said. became engaged on Dec. 14, 2002, and said she just knew he Once the right person is found and engagement is official, was the one for her by the feelings she had when she was with planning for the big day begins. and without her fiance. Draney said planning for the future has been her favorite “Everyday I knew more and more and I didn’t want to see aspect of the engagement so far. anyone else,” she said. “Planning where to live or little trips we can make when Draney and her fiance, Brock Swensen, have known each ANNE McCONNELL / UNIVERSITY JOURNAL we’re married is so fun,” she said. “Thinking of starting out other for three years, two of which he spent serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Shanna and Adam Hales dance with each other, and knowing (I) have someone and I can stop She said he wasn’t “her missionary,” and when she saw him during their reception that took searching is great.” off at the airport, she thought, “I’m done; now I just have to place in Duchesne. See MARRIAGE, Page 9


Moms carry heav y load many summer classes as I could,” Leavitt said. A college degree was important to Debbi Classes, homework, jobs and Van Drimmelen, a senior family and extracurricular activities are usually enough consumer science major from Las Vegas, which is why she said she to make any student stress decided to finish school out and scramble for more “When I found out after the birth of her first time, but when marriage child. and children are involved, I was pregnant I She said she thought it more time and energy are took as many would be helpful if she required. needed it. Despite the hard work summer classes as ever Van Drimmelen said her and time involved, going to I could.” biggest challenge is school to finish a degree as a mother is important to — Autumn Leavitt juggling schedules with her husband so they don’t some women at SUU. Finding time to do homework is one of the have to get a babysitter. She said she and her husband have been biggest challenges for Autumn Leavitt, a lucky so far because they have only had one senior biology major from Blythe, Calif. Her son was born the day after Spring overlapping class. Another challenge was the birth of her semester classes began, but since she is in her last semester with only seven credits daughter on Jan. 15. She said she got almost a week off from school after the birth because remaining, she said graduating is important. “When I found out I was pregnant I took as of a school holiday and no classes on Fridays.


SUU’s honors band entertains Saturday By COLBY MITCHELL UNIVERSITY JOURNAL

The SUU Honors Band will perform its annual concert in the Heritage Center Saturday at 7:30 p.m. John Cody Birdwell, director of bands and associate professor of music at Texas Tech University, will be the guest conductor/clinician for the concert. Eric Peterson, SUU assistant professor of music and director of bands, said the Honors Band consists of 100 high school juniors and seniors from Utah and Nevada. He said the students are selected by invitation. The students are in Cedar City

for two days and will rehearse a total of 9 1/2 hours for a performance that will last an hour, Peterson said. He said students rehearse so long because they will work with a guest conductor for whom they have never played. The concert takes place to recruit freshman music majors to SUU. Those students who have committed to attend SUU will also compete in a music scholarship audition the day before the concert, Peterson said. SUU College of Performing & Visual Arts plays host to the event frequently. The event will be $3 for students and general public.